Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize