woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I need to stop coming to work sober
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize