I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
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Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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