Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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