If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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