Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
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It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
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There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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