Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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