he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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