my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
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For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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