Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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