You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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