Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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