Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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