Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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