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Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
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