You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
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turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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