I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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