Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize