I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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