Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize