i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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