You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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