Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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