i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Congratulations! We have a period
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize