Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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