my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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