You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize