Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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