I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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