Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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