She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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