Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize