people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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