the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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