I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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