i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize