My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize