; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize