You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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