We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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