You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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