im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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