When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
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FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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