This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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