Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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