i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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