As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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