She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
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Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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