A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
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i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
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Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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