Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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